At the beginning of this year I made a conscious decision to figure out what it means when one says they "know someone". I would love to say "I know" the people on our staff and the learners and families that are a part of our school.
However, I have found I look at each person as a kajillion piece puzzle and I realize there is no possible way I can ever claim to know them all, to know all of the pieces that make them who they are in our world.
So...the question then becomes, "How much do I need to know to feel I know them?" What is my role as an educator and leader in discovering and exploring who these people are? What questions can I ask? Where do I need to be? What do I need to see?
Here are a few thoughts:
What questions can I ask? What do I need to listen for?, What do I need to look for?:
- Ask questions that are deeper than "How are you?" or "How was your weekend?"...Often the responses are similar to what you get when you ask a child "So, what did you do at school today?". Instead, I like to ask things like "What was your day high/low?" "What was the part of your weekend that made you smile most?" "When do you feel you matter most?" "I noticed...and wondered how you felt about that?"
- Listen for the excitement when someone shares his/her passion or his/her low moments, learn more about what is motivating or demotivating for the person.
- Watch interactions and ask questions e.g. "I noticed when you are reading to the kids you are so expressive. Do you have a background in drama or storytelling?"
Where do I need to be?
- I easily have enough work to keep me in my office glued to my computer until I'm 100 years old. For that reason, I figure I may as well leave some of it until later :-) Instead, I feel that although answering the 100+ emails in my inbox would bring a certain level of satisfaction it would not have the overall effect and result I'm looking for. I'm looking to build relationships so I can understand, support and serve the people that surround me. To do that I need to know them...and to know them I need to spend time with them. So...I try to have informal conversations wherever...in the photocopy room, in the staff room, hallway, classrooms etc.
- I also try to get out on as many field trips as I can because it is a great opportunity to see people interact with kids in a different environment. I also get to experience the camaraderie that comes with working together to create something kids love to do. There are also usually a lot of parents on the trip as well so I get to know more about them - which in turn helps me to know more about their children and the needs in their families.
What do I need to see?
- I need to see people in a variety of settings and doing a variety of things. This means I need to help create these opportunities and be a part of them myself. I need to see how they react or feel in different situations to know how I can support and serve them best.
- I need to spend time in people's personal spaces with them...pictures, quotes, screensavers, books, etc. can all be clues as to what the person sees as important in his/her life and can be conversation starters. Not everyone likes to share about themselves but I at least want them to know I am interested.
